whiteStallion
09-10 04:54 PM
I still don't get it how USCIS works...:( Guess its high time somebody from USCIS writes a book or whitepaper on this subject. Or some post-grad can try writing a thesis on this to get their PhD! :rolleyes:
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jetflyer
06-10 09:20 AM
There is a chance of EB1 & EB2 ROW spillover :D
US bulletin is out too:
http://travel.state.gov/visa/frvi/bulletin/bulletin_4252.html
EMPLOYMENT SECOND PREFERENCE VISA AVAILABILITY
There have been questions raised regarding the way numbers have been provided to the China and India in the Employment Second preference categories beginning in April. Section 202(a)(5) of the Immigration and Nationality Act states that if total demand for visas in an Employment preference category is insufficient to use all available visa numbers in that category in a calendar quarter, then the unused numbers may be made available without regard to the annual per-country limit. (For example: If the second preference annual limit were 40,000, number use by �All Other Countries� were estimated to be only 25,000, and the China/India combined number use based on their per-country limits were 6,000, then there would be 9,000 numbers unused. Those 9,000 numbers could then be made available to China and India applicants without regard to their per-country limits.)
Based on the informaiton available, it was been determined that the demand from �All Other Countries� for Second preference numbers, plus the amount of numbers available under China and India Second preference per-country limit, would be insufficient to utilize all available numbers under the annual limit for this category. Therefore, pursuant to Section 202(a)(5) of the Act, the unused numbers have been made available to China and India Second preference applicants. Since Section 203(e)(1) of the Act requires that such unused numbers be made available strictly in priority date order, the China and India applicants have been subject to the identical cut-off date. As there are more Employment Second preference applicants from India and the Indian applicants may have earlier priority dates, it is likely that Indian applicants will receive a larger portion of the available numbers than Chinese applicants.
It should be noted that the Employment Second preference category is "Current" for all countries except China and India. If at any point it appears that demand from �All Other Countries� would utilize all available numbers, then an adjustment would be made to the China/India cut-off date. Therefore, providing the unused numbers to China and India in no way disadvantages applicants from any other country, and helps to insure that the worldwide annual limit can be reached.
EMPLOYMENT THIRD PREFERENCE VISA AVAILABILITY
Demand for numbers, primarily by USCIS for adjustment of status cases, will bring the entire Employment Third preference category to the annual numerical limit by the end of June. As a result, this category will become �unavailable� beginning in July and will remain so for the remainder of FY-2008. Such action will only be temporary, however, and Employment Third preference availability will return to the cut-off dates established for June in October, the first month of the new fiscal year.
US bulletin is out too:
http://travel.state.gov/visa/frvi/bulletin/bulletin_4252.html
EMPLOYMENT SECOND PREFERENCE VISA AVAILABILITY
There have been questions raised regarding the way numbers have been provided to the China and India in the Employment Second preference categories beginning in April. Section 202(a)(5) of the Immigration and Nationality Act states that if total demand for visas in an Employment preference category is insufficient to use all available visa numbers in that category in a calendar quarter, then the unused numbers may be made available without regard to the annual per-country limit. (For example: If the second preference annual limit were 40,000, number use by �All Other Countries� were estimated to be only 25,000, and the China/India combined number use based on their per-country limits were 6,000, then there would be 9,000 numbers unused. Those 9,000 numbers could then be made available to China and India applicants without regard to their per-country limits.)
Based on the informaiton available, it was been determined that the demand from �All Other Countries� for Second preference numbers, plus the amount of numbers available under China and India Second preference per-country limit, would be insufficient to utilize all available numbers under the annual limit for this category. Therefore, pursuant to Section 202(a)(5) of the Act, the unused numbers have been made available to China and India Second preference applicants. Since Section 203(e)(1) of the Act requires that such unused numbers be made available strictly in priority date order, the China and India applicants have been subject to the identical cut-off date. As there are more Employment Second preference applicants from India and the Indian applicants may have earlier priority dates, it is likely that Indian applicants will receive a larger portion of the available numbers than Chinese applicants.
It should be noted that the Employment Second preference category is "Current" for all countries except China and India. If at any point it appears that demand from �All Other Countries� would utilize all available numbers, then an adjustment would be made to the China/India cut-off date. Therefore, providing the unused numbers to China and India in no way disadvantages applicants from any other country, and helps to insure that the worldwide annual limit can be reached.
EMPLOYMENT THIRD PREFERENCE VISA AVAILABILITY
Demand for numbers, primarily by USCIS for adjustment of status cases, will bring the entire Employment Third preference category to the annual numerical limit by the end of June. As a result, this category will become �unavailable� beginning in July and will remain so for the remainder of FY-2008. Such action will only be temporary, however, and Employment Third preference availability will return to the cut-off dates established for June in October, the first month of the new fiscal year.
nyte_crawler
04-26 12:38 PM
You have been calling H1 PD will be fair for some time now. I dont think it is. It is infact unfair for those who have the intention to immigrate. (Sorry to say this time and time again)
Let's say,
Person A comes in Jan 1999, works for several companies and infact jumped around for higher pay and better prospects and just before the 6th year is finished he/she applies for the GC process.
Person B comes in Dec 1999, works for a year and decides to settle and applies for the GC process and get stuck with the employer.
According to your argument, who gets a better deal, Person A. But is it fair. Absolutely Not. Lets say you walk into a grocery store, but want to stand infront of the queue in the check-out line just because you entered in the grocery store first does not makes sense. :)
Learning01, thanks for hijacking the topic to SS and Medicare. :)
I dont expect the wait to be any less longer .. But I would surely welcome priority date being based on H1 start date as it would be more fair method
Let's say,
Person A comes in Jan 1999, works for several companies and infact jumped around for higher pay and better prospects and just before the 6th year is finished he/she applies for the GC process.
Person B comes in Dec 1999, works for a year and decides to settle and applies for the GC process and get stuck with the employer.
According to your argument, who gets a better deal, Person A. But is it fair. Absolutely Not. Lets say you walk into a grocery store, but want to stand infront of the queue in the check-out line just because you entered in the grocery store first does not makes sense. :)
Learning01, thanks for hijacking the topic to SS and Medicare. :)
I dont expect the wait to be any less longer .. But I would surely welcome priority date being based on H1 start date as it would be more fair method
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harsh
01-03 04:13 PM
Its very interesting reading everyone's stories. To me GC represents freedom. Freedom to work for whom you want to, in a field you want to, not to work for someone you don't want to. To start your own buisness, to do all those things which US is known for. This country encourages entrepreneurs and I would like to be one, one of these days :).
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chanduv23
06-07 07:47 AM
Just contributed 100 USD. I know the money will go far and also that IV needs more money to get us where we want to be. Come on people, lets do it.
100 USD will buy you freedom.
You are now a super hero.
Come on heros, you can all do it. IV == "I" and "we" all together united.
United - we can all do it.
100 USD will buy you freedom.
You are now a super hero.
Come on heros, you can all do it. IV == "I" and "we" all together united.
United - we can all do it.
northstar
09-11 10:44 PM
Contributed $200 just now through Google
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audelinom
02-23 11:26 PM
Immigrating legally to the U.S seemed like a gold opportunity when I was offered to work here six years ago with an H1B visa. As a matter of fact, all my friends and family considered that it would have been crazy not to take advantage of the "opportunity" to live and work in the most developed country on Earth.
It's been six long years of challenges and learning experiences, but mostly it's been six years of financial distress, anxiety, paralysis and uncertainty.
We applied for PR four years ago, but in the process my wife and I have eaten all our saving in lawyer fees - and at this point we're just one more number in the long list of EB3 applicants who don't have the remotest idea of when visa numbers will become available so we can have a normal life. I don't even consider traveling to my country cause I don't have the money to pay for APs for me and my wife. My career has been also frozen since I cant take promotions to higher positions that will fall off the job description stated in my PERM.
If I had known about this ordeal, I would have never come to the US. I would have looked for other options, in countries that have a more sincere and generous immigration policies instead. If the US is not interested in allowing people to legally immigrate through visas based on employment, they simply should eliminate these visas and make clear that they don't want us to stay. Wouldn't that be easy for everyone?
I would return to my country if we didn't have a nasty political turmoil and the social decay that comes with it. Yet, I feel that the days go by and our lives are entangled in this absurd situation.
It's been six long years of challenges and learning experiences, but mostly it's been six years of financial distress, anxiety, paralysis and uncertainty.
We applied for PR four years ago, but in the process my wife and I have eaten all our saving in lawyer fees - and at this point we're just one more number in the long list of EB3 applicants who don't have the remotest idea of when visa numbers will become available so we can have a normal life. I don't even consider traveling to my country cause I don't have the money to pay for APs for me and my wife. My career has been also frozen since I cant take promotions to higher positions that will fall off the job description stated in my PERM.
If I had known about this ordeal, I would have never come to the US. I would have looked for other options, in countries that have a more sincere and generous immigration policies instead. If the US is not interested in allowing people to legally immigrate through visas based on employment, they simply should eliminate these visas and make clear that they don't want us to stay. Wouldn't that be easy for everyone?
I would return to my country if we didn't have a nasty political turmoil and the social decay that comes with it. Yet, I feel that the days go by and our lives are entangled in this absurd situation.
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vbkris77
09-05 10:58 PM
I missed the boat in 2007. I think the bigger point here is that people vent their frustration of their GC journey only in a blog hiding their identity. When it comes to real work of meeting people, most hide under their bed..
If the July 2007 fiasco hadn't happened, we wouldn't have had this mess. Most waiting on GC would have quit and gone home making the line shorter :rolleyes:
(The last line is sarcastic)
I think there is more smartness needed than luck in the greencard process. If you look at the posts in this thread there are some people that came to USA in 1990s and still waiting, while some that came much later are on their way to citizenship. Some got the EB2 route and are happy and some in EB3 have only gloom before them.
This in my opinion has helped smart folks among us:
- They applied for GC as soon as possible. Those who waited did not give importance to Greencard as soon as they started a job in USA are now paying for their mistakes. During the initial days of career I have seen people saying that GC is not important to them etc but when their H1B is about to expire they panic and get desperate for Green Card.
- Before pre-PERM era in 2005, smart folks took up jobs in states where labor certification had no backlog. They are now either waiting for citizenship or already citizens. On the other hand people in states like CA, NY etc suffered due to labor backlogs and far from getting greencard in hand.
- Any company can be good or bad for an individual. It it not a question of consulting vs fortune 500 or small vs big size of a company. Smart folks know what matters them the most when they join a company. When company sees them as a valuable asset, it applies for them. I have seen where company applied for GC as soon as the employee joined it. And I have seen posts where people had to wait for several years before company applied.
- People who took advantage of the Labor substitution got faster labors. Some could take advantage of EB2 labors and they are very fortunate. This is in no way endorsing the labor substitution rule, but in pre 2007 times nobody was protesting against it. This is a sad reality.
- Smart folks took the risk and changed jobs wth EB2 job requirements, so that they can file in EB2. Such folks with 2007 PD are happy today and people with 2003 PDs in EB3 will have to wait for a long time.
- If you read posts on this thread, many people have posted that they feel they are being screwed by their employer or lawyer. But hardly anyone has said they took any action against it. This is also a sad reality where we as a community have failed and will continue to suffer.
- Many folks have said that they thought they were in EB2. But found they are in EB3. This shows another weakness of our community and lack of awareness. IV forum tries to spread the awareness but unless an individual takes initiative, they will suffer.
Many people were able to file I485 in July 2007 due to IV effort. Imagine a 2004 EB3 India person without EAD today? How will he survive a job loss on H1B in a bad economy? We should take a lesson from that event and try for another big push. There is no other shortcut for us. It is shocking to find people on this thread that are in this country for more than 10 years and without a green card. These folks should be the most vocal folks in this effort.
-
If the July 2007 fiasco hadn't happened, we wouldn't have had this mess. Most waiting on GC would have quit and gone home making the line shorter :rolleyes:
(The last line is sarcastic)
I think there is more smartness needed than luck in the greencard process. If you look at the posts in this thread there are some people that came to USA in 1990s and still waiting, while some that came much later are on their way to citizenship. Some got the EB2 route and are happy and some in EB3 have only gloom before them.
This in my opinion has helped smart folks among us:
- They applied for GC as soon as possible. Those who waited did not give importance to Greencard as soon as they started a job in USA are now paying for their mistakes. During the initial days of career I have seen people saying that GC is not important to them etc but when their H1B is about to expire they panic and get desperate for Green Card.
- Before pre-PERM era in 2005, smart folks took up jobs in states where labor certification had no backlog. They are now either waiting for citizenship or already citizens. On the other hand people in states like CA, NY etc suffered due to labor backlogs and far from getting greencard in hand.
- Any company can be good or bad for an individual. It it not a question of consulting vs fortune 500 or small vs big size of a company. Smart folks know what matters them the most when they join a company. When company sees them as a valuable asset, it applies for them. I have seen where company applied for GC as soon as the employee joined it. And I have seen posts where people had to wait for several years before company applied.
- People who took advantage of the Labor substitution got faster labors. Some could take advantage of EB2 labors and they are very fortunate. This is in no way endorsing the labor substitution rule, but in pre 2007 times nobody was protesting against it. This is a sad reality.
- Smart folks took the risk and changed jobs wth EB2 job requirements, so that they can file in EB2. Such folks with 2007 PD are happy today and people with 2003 PDs in EB3 will have to wait for a long time.
- If you read posts on this thread, many people have posted that they feel they are being screwed by their employer or lawyer. But hardly anyone has said they took any action against it. This is also a sad reality where we as a community have failed and will continue to suffer.
- Many folks have said that they thought they were in EB2. But found they are in EB3. This shows another weakness of our community and lack of awareness. IV forum tries to spread the awareness but unless an individual takes initiative, they will suffer.
Many people were able to file I485 in July 2007 due to IV effort. Imagine a 2004 EB3 India person without EAD today? How will he survive a job loss on H1B in a bad economy? We should take a lesson from that event and try for another big push. There is no other shortcut for us. It is shocking to find people on this thread that are in this country for more than 10 years and without a green card. These folks should be the most vocal folks in this effort.
-
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sunny1000
04-30 04:18 PM
Yahi hai Umrika ke USCIS ke officer ka Tashan!
and in English that means what?
and in English that means what?
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mpadapa
08-13 05:05 PM
Getting HR 5882 / S 3414 (recapture bills) through congress is the only hope for EB3's.
Changing the spillover will not help EBI because in both the spillover interpretations EB3I is the last in the chain. The only reason EB3I benefited from earlier spillover interpretations was because there weren't any ripe EB2-I cases available and it spilled over to EB3I. Reverting to the old spillover interpretation will not benefit EBI but sure it will benefit EB3-ROW.
Let us focus on getting the recapture bills through. Call u'r congressman/senator and start pushing for the recapture bill. EB3I has been benefited until now because of the AC21 recapture. Now it is time for another recapture.
Changing the spillover will not help EBI because in both the spillover interpretations EB3I is the last in the chain. The only reason EB3I benefited from earlier spillover interpretations was because there weren't any ripe EB2-I cases available and it spilled over to EB3I. Reverting to the old spillover interpretation will not benefit EBI but sure it will benefit EB3-ROW.
Let us focus on getting the recapture bills through. Call u'r congressman/senator and start pushing for the recapture bill. EB3I has been benefited until now because of the AC21 recapture. Now it is time for another recapture.
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H1B-GC
02-07 09:25 AM
sorry to hear your situation 007! hope things work out for you in time. You could also consider heading home and having someone mail it to you once its received. just an option not sure what your situation is as far how far from approval etc etc
A Person cannot Travel before the AP gets Approved.If you do, means Abandoning your GC forever. Please be careful before you advise anyone on these critical issues.
A Person cannot Travel before the AP gets Approved.If you do, means Abandoning your GC forever. Please be careful before you advise anyone on these critical issues.
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new2gc
08-23 08:26 AM
This line is not good:
(ii) Evidence in the form of letter(s) from current or former employer(s) showing that the alien has at least ten years of full-time experience in the occupation for which he or she is being sought;
First they were after H1b...Now I-140 then they will come after EAD and even GC....sooner or later....no matter how loud we cry for justice....
(ii) Evidence in the form of letter(s) from current or former employer(s) showing that the alien has at least ten years of full-time experience in the occupation for which he or she is being sought;
First they were after H1b...Now I-140 then they will come after EAD and even GC....sooner or later....no matter how loud we cry for justice....
more...
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jaihind
07-20 02:28 PM
Dear ALL and CORE
Please remove such hypothetical - fear mongering threads. PLease friends do your jobs - support IV efforts - and all will be fine.
If this person spends the time to send the Thank You notes to the people concerend that will be better.
Jaihind !!
Please remove such hypothetical - fear mongering threads. PLease friends do your jobs - support IV efforts - and all will be fine.
If this person spends the time to send the Thank You notes to the people concerend that will be better.
Jaihind !!
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yabadaba
12-21 08:39 PM
Nathan Muller on Dec 21, 2006 at 09:59:25 said:
Your statment: "They claim that persons on H1-B do not pay taxes, that they bring in millions of family members and produce thousands of 'anchor babies.' These are the same lies being touted by Tancredo and his breed. Under the H1-B visa we are not exempt from any taxes charged by the IRS."
I challenge you to produce a quote from Tom Tancredo or Lou Dobbs where they say this about H1-B workers. I follow this issue closely and I have never heard of such statements about H1-B workers coming from either of these men.
Before you accuse others of lying, please tell the truth yourself!
Ali on Dec 21, 2006 at 07:51:16 said:
The fact that the visas you came in on are "temporary" in nature and only allow you to switch IF you can get green card sponsorship for the proscribed number of slots already tells you that Americans are willing and able to accept a certain limited number of immigrants--and no more.
Those of you who imagine that a temporary visa such as a student visa or H1-B guarantees you a green card are kidding yourselves.
raj on Dec 20, 2006 at 13:49:50 said:
swesome artcle.i
Brian on Dec 20, 2006 at 12:34:03 said:
Currently I work with many H1b workers form Indian. These temporary workers are creating anchor babies all the time. Now we have to educate their children as well as give them our jobs.
Since these H1b workers have come to the United States our globlal corporations refuse to train or permote Americans. They are not great minds but cheap labor. The H1B visa is a temporary work visa. Please go home after your work is complete
bill gates on Dec 20, 2006 at 11:31:41 said:
Pribh Das, please go home. We have enough race baiters already.
Go on with your life somewhere else.
B.
Post Your Comments
Your statment: "They claim that persons on H1-B do not pay taxes, that they bring in millions of family members and produce thousands of 'anchor babies.' These are the same lies being touted by Tancredo and his breed. Under the H1-B visa we are not exempt from any taxes charged by the IRS."
I challenge you to produce a quote from Tom Tancredo or Lou Dobbs where they say this about H1-B workers. I follow this issue closely and I have never heard of such statements about H1-B workers coming from either of these men.
Before you accuse others of lying, please tell the truth yourself!
Ali on Dec 21, 2006 at 07:51:16 said:
The fact that the visas you came in on are "temporary" in nature and only allow you to switch IF you can get green card sponsorship for the proscribed number of slots already tells you that Americans are willing and able to accept a certain limited number of immigrants--and no more.
Those of you who imagine that a temporary visa such as a student visa or H1-B guarantees you a green card are kidding yourselves.
raj on Dec 20, 2006 at 13:49:50 said:
swesome artcle.i
Brian on Dec 20, 2006 at 12:34:03 said:
Currently I work with many H1b workers form Indian. These temporary workers are creating anchor babies all the time. Now we have to educate their children as well as give them our jobs.
Since these H1b workers have come to the United States our globlal corporations refuse to train or permote Americans. They are not great minds but cheap labor. The H1B visa is a temporary work visa. Please go home after your work is complete
bill gates on Dec 20, 2006 at 11:31:41 said:
Pribh Das, please go home. We have enough race baiters already.
Go on with your life somewhere else.
B.
Post Your Comments
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Mahatma
07-14 01:15 PM
Could you give me IV address wherein I can send my cheque?
Small is beautiful. Kaizen means small change but consistent change. It brings good results.
Thanks for doing this.
Small is beautiful. Kaizen means small change but consistent change. It brings good results.
Thanks for doing this.
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WaitingYaar
10-11 08:03 PM
i think I have stated it earlier...
for handsfree , you could either do it through accountant or legalzoom.com once you set up the company, you need to get your Federal tax id for the company, then file for any local city business license ( few cities have that requirement), Open a bank account...
Please PM me if you still have questions... In this thread I had posted my reply and also given the accountant details , who helped me...
Thanks for you guidance!
for handsfree , you could either do it through accountant or legalzoom.com once you set up the company, you need to get your Federal tax id for the company, then file for any local city business license ( few cities have that requirement), Open a bank account...
Please PM me if you still have questions... In this thread I had posted my reply and also given the accountant details , who helped me...
Thanks for you guidance!
more...
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paisa
09-10 02:40 PM
Guys,
Its only Green card and I am not sure why people get upset big deal. Nobody asked us to move here. And if there is a system in place we cannot be saying its bad and this and that. My PD is DEC 04 do I feel bad someone in 2006 gets it. YES. Is the system crappy yes. I have a MS in US. So all this hoopla about US ms are getting it and not us is wrong. The other question is should I be getting it over others who dont have a MS from US. I believe yes we should.
but thats my thoughts on the subject if someone does not like it I respect his thoughts.
Its only Green card and I am not sure why people get upset big deal. Nobody asked us to move here. And if there is a system in place we cannot be saying its bad and this and that. My PD is DEC 04 do I feel bad someone in 2006 gets it. YES. Is the system crappy yes. I have a MS in US. So all this hoopla about US ms are getting it and not us is wrong. The other question is should I be getting it over others who dont have a MS from US. I believe yes we should.
but thats my thoughts on the subject if someone does not like it I respect his thoughts.
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andy garcia
10-01 05:08 PM
Let us wait for the statement from USCIS
It is a long wait.
First the DOS publishes a preliminary report on March/April
then the final report from CIS is not published until July/August of the following year.
It is a long wait.
First the DOS publishes a preliminary report on March/April
then the final report from CIS is not published until July/August of the following year.
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stldude
08-10 03:29 PM
Congrats - Is u'r 485 processed in NSC. Do you have the SRC** or LIN *** for the receipt no.
All 6 of our checks got cleared today below are the details
I-485/131/765 recd date: 2nd july 07
I-485/131/765 notice date: 06th Aug 07
Service Center send : NSC
I-140 approved : on 31-May-06, TSC
Got Recipts : NO
All 6 of our checks got cleared today below are the details
I-485/131/765 recd date: 2nd july 07
I-485/131/765 notice date: 06th Aug 07
Service Center send : NSC
I-140 approved : on 31-May-06, TSC
Got Recipts : NO
div_bell_2003
02-10 08:52 PM
OMG , what an utterly disgusting attitude !!! and on top of it, you are trying to "summarize" ???
I tried to stop myself from posting on this thread since it's based on one guy's circumstances and though I feel sorry for him ( the same way I feel sorry for all the wives and their families being extorted huge sum of money in the name of marriage ) , it's hard to judge these things knowing only one side of the story.
To each his own , but do you think your parents spent their whole lives bringing you up only to know that you think it's "legally" not right to help them monetarily ???? I guess, they should have not spent that extra money to send you to a good school/college or spend it on your tution classes and kicked you out of their house once you reach the age of 18 , like some parents do here ??? Man, it's hard for me to imagine how one can think like that about their parents.
When someone gets married they should be grown up enough to handle the money matters and put their foot down in case of any unreasonable demands, it applies to both husband and wife. The intricacies of the "Indian arranged marriage" are difficult to understand and the equations vary from case to case, so it's better not to come to a judgement and come out with something utterly nonsensical.
I'm sorry if my post is a bit rude , what rude comments beget rude reactions !
To summarize the root causes now that we discussed:
1. Parental interference to control their own child even after marriage. This is cause no 1 of this kind of tensions.
2. Immaturity on the part of children, to let their parents control their feelings. (This is partly due to in arranged marriages, children are closer to parents than the spouse in initial years). This is no 2 issue. Children simply fail to understand they are no more part of their parents family. I honestly feel these people are not really ready for marriage or understand what marriage is.
3. Money transactions. One side expecting money from other side which is not really acceptable. I will elaborate this point a bit more.
4. In cases of couples settled in US/UK, parents know that couples are making a LOT more than by Indian standards. Hence to secure their own old age comfort, everyone tries to exert influence.
On no 3, let us separate our "legal" obligations from "moral".
Morally it is right to send money to parents, but legally it is not. As you can strive but, you wont be fair to either set of parents. Hence I believe "money" should not be sent to parents. Your parents should have planned their own future, including humanitarian needs. Only if your other half agrees, then only you should send money. Otherwise, it is your and your spouse's money.
If your parents needed monetary support then that they should have made clear to other parents at the time of marriage. Not after marriage. If its a love marriage, then the boy/girl should have clearly told this requirement to the other half.
I tried to stop myself from posting on this thread since it's based on one guy's circumstances and though I feel sorry for him ( the same way I feel sorry for all the wives and their families being extorted huge sum of money in the name of marriage ) , it's hard to judge these things knowing only one side of the story.
To each his own , but do you think your parents spent their whole lives bringing you up only to know that you think it's "legally" not right to help them monetarily ???? I guess, they should have not spent that extra money to send you to a good school/college or spend it on your tution classes and kicked you out of their house once you reach the age of 18 , like some parents do here ??? Man, it's hard for me to imagine how one can think like that about their parents.
When someone gets married they should be grown up enough to handle the money matters and put their foot down in case of any unreasonable demands, it applies to both husband and wife. The intricacies of the "Indian arranged marriage" are difficult to understand and the equations vary from case to case, so it's better not to come to a judgement and come out with something utterly nonsensical.
I'm sorry if my post is a bit rude , what rude comments beget rude reactions !
To summarize the root causes now that we discussed:
1. Parental interference to control their own child even after marriage. This is cause no 1 of this kind of tensions.
2. Immaturity on the part of children, to let their parents control their feelings. (This is partly due to in arranged marriages, children are closer to parents than the spouse in initial years). This is no 2 issue. Children simply fail to understand they are no more part of their parents family. I honestly feel these people are not really ready for marriage or understand what marriage is.
3. Money transactions. One side expecting money from other side which is not really acceptable. I will elaborate this point a bit more.
4. In cases of couples settled in US/UK, parents know that couples are making a LOT more than by Indian standards. Hence to secure their own old age comfort, everyone tries to exert influence.
On no 3, let us separate our "legal" obligations from "moral".
Morally it is right to send money to parents, but legally it is not. As you can strive but, you wont be fair to either set of parents. Hence I believe "money" should not be sent to parents. Your parents should have planned their own future, including humanitarian needs. Only if your other half agrees, then only you should send money. Otherwise, it is your and your spouse's money.
If your parents needed monetary support then that they should have made clear to other parents at the time of marriage. Not after marriage. If its a love marriage, then the boy/girl should have clearly told this requirement to the other half.
prasadn
07-14 11:42 PM
Thanks for all the hardwork IV. I just contributed $25. Online billpay indicates it will be delivered on 07/21/2008. Confirmation no. 7YCC1-W6GYZ
Thanks,
Prasad
Thanks,
Prasad
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